the bad:

I watched some of the Grammy’s on Sunday night.  Yesterday, there were a few things I wanted to talk about here, pretty much the same things everyone was talking about everywhere else:  Jennifer Hudson’s amazing-but-kinda-creepy Whitney tribute, Lady Gaga’s net-headded-near-absence from the proceedings, Adele’s overall awesomeness and adorable Cockney swagger. I wasn’t going to touch the Chris Brown situation, except maybe to give him some credit for navigating a set of stairs far better then Madonna managed to at the Superbowl last week.

But now I see that would have been a mistake.  I had thought we could all pretty much agree that given his disturbing record of confirmed abuse, he wasn’t somebody we were going to be giving a lot of thought to anymore.

I was wrong.  

I’m not surprised to learn that while Chris Brown was turning back handsprings and hopping around blocks of pretty neon, girls nation-wide had taken to Twitter to give him permission to beat them up.  Like, yeah, maybe he smacked around his girlfriend a couple times, but look how cute!  What’s the big deal?

I’m not surprised because: who told them it should be a big deal?  Who told them, after the hype fizzled and he started making more (yes, catchy; yes, dance-worthy) music, after he was invited back to the Grammy’s and asked to perform (twice!) and then awarded the top honor in his category, who told them they shouldn’t forgive-and-forget?

Nobody, except for Roxanne Gay.

the good:

In response to the Twitter round-up of girls begging to be beaten, Rumpus-contributor Roxeanne Gay wrote an open letter:

Dear Young Ladies Who Love Chris Brown So Much They Would Let Him Beat Them.

You should read it.  Not because it will convince you that beating up women is wrong.  Everybody (sadly, almost-everybody) knows that. But it might make you think about why, at some level, some people still don’t see “the big deal.”

the lovely:

Enough of the serious, and on to some lovely.

It’s Valentine’s Day!  Yes, it’s a Hallmark-hoiday, and yes, it is usually under-celebrated in this house (if you call pigging out on Chilmark Chocolates and maybe setting the table for dinner “under-celebrating.” Which you should.)

But that doesn’t stop me from feeling the love all day long, especially when I have the creative and wildly-talented jeweler/style-maven Alexandra Rothwell in my life.  She sent along some gorgeous and fun love-inspired images this morning, and I couldn’t help but share a few with you.

xoxo

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